Hey look, it’s all those reviews I promised you, wrote, then never posted. <3 you really. (Ed Note: Srsly! <3 = heart/love, do I have to tell you everything.)

Time to be harsh about stuff, and things.

Films & Movies

Avatar - Not Released.

If this film is anywhere near as good as I think it will be and as the 14 years or so it has had to improve says it will be, then I am going to need several note pads to even begin to explain to you all the subtleties and amazing work that has gone in to this film. I will review it with a summary later if your interested.

Pre-Watch Score: 10/10 (Don’t expect this to decrease either.)

Follow the link for oh so many more long reviews. (Oh joy…).

2012

Plot Summary: A completely unbelievable natural event is about to pretty much destroy the world in the most awesome looking way possible. Focus is on a run down author who is divorced and spends the film saving his family. Disaster porn through and through.

Review: And it’s awesome to watch that disaster. The CG destruction is mind-blowing. I wouldn’t think about it much though, it’s a pretty simple and shallow plot. I somewhat doubt that it’s meant to be realistic but who cares. This film is all about the action, and it has it aplenty. So summary is that this is not a thinking film, it is however an eye caressing action film.

Favourite Scene: It has to be the small plane flying down the new canyon in the middle of Washington DC. The detail of every person falling, the subway train flying out of the tunnel and the plane narrowly missing being squashed between two sky scrapers. That is edge of the seat stuff. (Canyon and plane pictured above.)

Score: 7.5/10

(I swear the above pictured scene in the film was an entirely pointless excuse for Butler to be naked.)

Law Abiding Citizen

Plot Summary: A loving husband (Gerard Butler) watches his wife and daughter be murdered by thieves. The justice system fails to put the correct man away as the prosecutor makes a deal with him for a short term jail sentence in exchange for a confession. Ten years later, Butler returns to exact gory justice on the thieves and all those who failed him in the justice system. He plans to bring the system down and it’s all he can think about. He puts his brains to work and pulls off many wild plans for killing people. A sort of action/crime type film.

Review: Overall, a brilliant, surprisingly clever film, that plays well. The film plays the audiences on both sides, I felt like I wanted Butler to get his revenge but then it would switch back and you would feel like he was a mad man who needed stopped. Even by the end I wasn’t sure that I wanted the final outcome. The plans he uses to get his justice have all been planned for years before, adding just that little bit of “this guy is mad” in to the mix. The “Saw” style executions for the two criminals make for gory watching even though it only shows you the end result. Good (but not great) acting all round here.

Favourite Scene: So many. If I picked one it would be the Judge’s murder. In the middle of a casual scene she answers her mobile where upon it explodes through her head in a huge bang. Everybody was on edge for a good 20 minutes after that at least before they realised the rest was going to be fairly obvious stuff. I was seriously not expecting that, jumped a good few inches myself.

Score: 8/10

Squirrel!

UP

Plot Summary: 78 year old Carl, having had enough of the city officials trying to evict him from his lifetime home decides to take up a promise he made to his wife 70 years ago. He takes off (literally) on an adventure to Paradise Falls by flying his house away with 1000’s of balloons attached to it. Unfortunately for him, he has a passenger. Russell, a boy scout, is now along for the ride. Hilarious adventure ensues as they make their way through storms, to paradise falls, through jungles and battle an evil villain. All the while accompanied by a giant bird and a talking dog. Squirrel!

Review: If you haven’t seen it, see it. If you can’t, get the DVD. It is a classic Pixar film with plot, hilarious good guys & bad guys, a giant bird called Kevin and talking dogs. How they pull it off with the main character being a 78 year old I will never know, but it is simply awesome. A good part of the first 20 minutes or so of the film are a non-voiced fast forward of his life, I would liken them to the non-voiced film Wall-E for similarity and emotional effect, which I might add is a more than amazing film. The film then goes on to entertain young and old alike, especially old. A majority of the jokes and actions can only be appreciated by over early teens at least. I felt a little let down that the second half of the film was taken over by too many talking dogs but it doesn’t lose anything with enough other action and jokes going around.

Favourite Scene: The whole film was great. That first 20 minutes was brilliant. Picking a later scene I would have to say where Kevin (the bird) impersonates Carl. So funny.

Score: 8.5/10

TV Shows

Recent shows I haven’t watched more than one or two episodes of due to lack of interest (or terrible acting): Paradox.

Current Shows:

Stargate Atlantis
Still holding enough of the pieces of the original “Stargate” sci-fi to be a decent series. Although recently it has slowly become more drama/soap than suits a show like that. Still worth watching though.

Score: 7.5/10

Flashforward
A decent American drama about an FBI unit who is investigating a global concious blackout which killed twenty million people. ("Why did it happen, who was it?” etc). This didn’t receive a higher mark simply because it is pulling the old “Lost” trick of just making questions and never answering them. I somehow doubt it ever will going by the track record of “Lost” which is on some ridiculous number like series 12 now, or something like that and still hasn’t answered any good questions.

Score: 7/10

Games

Borderlands
RPS (Role-Playing Shooter) with procedurally generated guns. (I.e. randomly made when needed, e.g. bazillions of random guns.) What’s not to like. Especially when you pick up a random gun that shoots explosive, lightening, shurikens.
Score: 9/10

Dragon Age
Best fantasy RPG of recent years.
Score: 9/10

Left 4 Dead 2
Great follow on from L4D with some great weapons like the chainsaw, guitar and frying pan for bashing up zombies in oh so many new ways.
Score: 9/10

Street Fighter IV
Holds true to the original Street Fighters and has new graphics, events and much smoother controls.
Score: 9/10

Call of Duty - Modern Warfare 2
PS3 version is actually better than PC version due to some idiots at the producing company restricting options on the PC version. An incentive to sell more console versions maybe? They claim it’s to stop hacking. Who knows. A great game nonetheless.
Score: 9/10

Software

Windows 7

A decent new version of windows, seems robust for almost everyone and does a lot of the setup leg work for you. Still suffers from typical Microsoft and Windows problems such as driver issues (my graphics card) and expense, although students can get it for £30, good on you for that at least MSoft. Very flashy interface with some really really cool new features but the back end seems to be laid out the same with same old awful control panel and terrible control features for advanced users. As it is essentially Vista under the hood (don’t kill me MS) almost all the programs you want are already compatible. Device drivers are common for 7 now too and as it does most of that for you at setup anyway there is not much to worry about.

The only problems I have had are my hardware related issues I had with Vista, damn graphics drivers! Graphics card is just getting old and outdated in the hardware world really, it moves faster than anyone can keep up with.

Score: 8.5/10

Bonus Review

Utility Companies & Edinburgh Council

Score: 1/10

All that was my opinion entirely, no copy & paste or paraphrasing other sites.